The fear of the known

The saying goes, “It is the fear of the unknown that paralyzes us”, but I am seriously starting to think it is the known that strikes fear into us.

A work colleague has just passed her first trimester of pregnancy with her first baby and is most naturally curious about all things pediatrically and gynecologically related at present. God bless her babe’s cotton booties. Now I only speak from observation as I myself am not yet a mother, so please bear with me (excuse the pun) for any discrepancies in facts or my humble opinions. But this whole rambling is just about that, the perception of what childbirth is all about and what its like and which option is best, natural or caesar or epidural or on your back or on your head, in the water, on the meds, au natural.... God alone knows the millions of options available to us modern women these days. And that too is the point, modern women and child birth. But I am side tracking from the initial point at hand, which is pregnant friend and youtube spilling the beans visually as to just what exactly can be expected.

Now I find youtube very useful when I need to figure out how to fold that damn origami lamp shade that came with no instructions or how to make little wonton soup parcels or how to win a back-breaking game of twister without actually paralyzing yourself, but I think my mother telling me that childbirth is the most painful thing you will ever experience will do me just fine right now. No footage needed. I do know that they show videos in Lamaze classes but by the time you’re in that class, its too late to turn back. If we had to employ home videos available on youtube of birthing babies into schools’ sex education curriculum, we would half the number of unwanted teen pregnancies instantly and the long term memory would stay burned into the minds of those impressionable young imps.

No person would willingly, enter into a sexual relationship, seeing what I saw this morning, knowing that there is at least a 50% chance of the experience seen this morning materialising, courtesy of youtube. No sirree, it frightened me as a thirty-something and I’m sure it would terrify any teenager long enough to get through high school still being a virgin. The amazing thing is though, that a woman’s body produces large amounts of pain (and memory) numbing hormones* in the hours during and after natural childbirth that even though our mothers and grandmothers tell us its the most unbelievably painful experience, most know it was, but cannot actually remember the intensity of the pain. (Natural child birth that is.)

Our bodies are amazing things, with the gift as women specifically, to be able to grow and nurture life within us. The process through which we go and the point we get to when birthing a child is nothing short of a miracle. God gave us this opportunity to experience this miracle and made us in such a way as to naturally be equipped for it. (Don’t forget it was because of the snake that caused us to experience pain during this process). We are lucky that today as modern women, we have so many options when entering this time of our lives with many knowledgeable doctors and amazing technology to our advantage. Sometimes we are not able to give birth naturally and are blessed with alternative options like c-section. I do also think though that we have forgotten the power of our own natural instincts to do as we were naturally made to do during childbirth. And damn you youtube for frightening the living daylights out of me before I’ve even had the opportunity to go down that road myself, knowing Gods hand is on me and my child and our birthing experience, whether it be natural or not, all I would ask for be a positive and fearless one.


*“Beta-endorphin is the stress hormone that builds up in a natural labor to help the laboring woman to transcend pain. Beta-endorphin is also associated with the altered state of consciousness that is normal in labor. Being “on another planet,” as some describe it, helps the mother-to-be to work instinctively with her body and her baby, often using movement and sounds. Epidurals reduce the laboring woman’s release of beta-endorphin. Obstetric care providers have assumed that control of pain is the foremost concern of laboring women, and that effective pain relief will ensure a positive birth experience. In fact, there is evidence that the opposite may be true. Several studies have shown that women who use no labor medication are the most satisfied with their birth experience at the time, at six weeks, and at one year after the birth.  In a UK survey of 1,000 women, those who had used epidurals reported the highest levels of pain relief but the lowest levels of satisfaction with the birth, probably because of the higher rates of intervention.”

Excerpt courtesy of www.nursingbirth.com: http://nursingbirth.com/2009/03/30/study-finds-that-memory-of-labor-pain-is-influenced-by-a-womans-childbirth-experience/